“Intelligent Dance Music”

Recently i have been hearing the word “Intellignet” being used to refer to certain types of Electronica music. I have to say that i think the use of this term within the realm of any kind of music is a bunch of elitist bullshit. Especially in electronica, which to me is about a global music genre that knows no language barriers and brings people together for the sole purpose of enjoying music and dancing. To break down the term intelligent dance music I first though about what intelligence meant. To me its the ability to comprehend, think and learn. To me these descriptive words are really not something that I would want associated with music. Music is the most basic art form around. You can make music by clapping your hands, banging two sticks together or mixing CD’s and all people have to do to understand it is use those things on either side of their head. To say that your music is intelligent would imply to me that I just wouldn’t understand it or have to actively work to understand and appreciate it and i honestly find that somewhat offensive. As much as i enjoy activley listening to music if artists started calling their music intelligent punk or intelligent i dont think i’d take them seriously, i’d most likely just say, i dont care how smart you think your music is, play something that sounds cool. I also think the term intellignet is a majority of the time misused. I’ve heard the term Intelligent used to describe several genres of music such as minimal, downtempo and any other music that in my opinion lacks energy, the ability to engage listeners with ease and pretty much anyone that’s “not spinning stuff from beatport” or have trouble classifying what they spin. Also when you can use the same term to describe Drum & Bass and Minimal i think that give the term just a little to much flexibility. The term “intelligent” in dance music is used the same way that “alternative” is used in rock music. When people say they listen to alternative i always ask them “Alternative to what?” The same could be said for “Intelligent Dance Music.” Is all other dance music retarded? Are we retarded if we listen to it? See what im getting at? People that refer to their music by this term should really find a new word to use instead of sounding like a bunch of douchy elitist hipsters that have already ruined indie rock.

Chav Remixes that never made it.

The Final Chavdown
The Chavtown Ladies
Srgt. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Chav
Chav on Eileen
Dont Chav for me Argentina
Chavburger in Paradise

Oh god im bored.

-Brian

“School” Starts

Its funny cuz i dont have school anymore, Get it? thats why theres quotes. Anyways since school has begun everyone else has returned to class while i have finally gotten settled into my job at Pearl Izumi. It was kinda strange when everyone was buying books and doing homework and all i did was wait until the next day when i get to go back to work. So working in the warehouse at Pearl Izumi. Where to start. Here’s a basic rundown of work. I push a cart around pulling orders, putting them in boxes and then on a shelf for the shippers. The End. It’s honestly in no way engaging or interesting and i have to say i feel bad for hte people that work there who arent college age kids who just want a job with a sweet pro deal. Like theres legitimately people that work there that could probably be my dad and like work there full time. ANyways i’ve found myself reading books on marketing and advertising as to not turn stupid form my mindless work. I have however found things to do to keep myself amused at work so that i can not put my head in the microwave at breaktime. I like to steal people’s carts. Because most of the people there are like……whats a good way to describe them…….weird, they all have like, “Their cart” that they use everyday. I dont have one of these becasue i dont care so sometimes i go take other people’s carts. They get all like mad about it which i think is funny and are all like “gimme my cart back, my t-shirt is from hot topic.” My favorite cart to take is one of the shippers, who will remained unnamed, cuz he’s japanese and yells and i cant understand him. He then like takes the cart from me and says “go geee otta won” So anyways as im sure you can tell aside from my own jokes i make to petrie and my commentary about my co-workers that i keep in my head, work is……work.

The next few months i think will be super fun aside from work becasue theres a ridiculous ammount of good tunes coming through. Last weekend i chose to miss the CU vs. CSU game to go see Blink-182 and Weezer in denver.  Seeing as we lost to state and losing to state is the only thing worse than hooking up with a teammate. So Weezer was honetly one of the coolest live set’s ive seen, really talented group of musicans and Blink-182 blew me away. I have to say the encore of their set was by far top 3 best shows ive ever seen. Travis Barker’s drum platform was lifted on cables’ about 30 ft off the stage and started spinning while he played a bunch of his tunes he did with DJ AM, soo badass. Then once they put him back down the rest of the band came out and they played Carousel and Dammit. Absolutley fucking amazing. Since Blink-182 i was able to catch John Dahlback at Beta. Really talented DJ who threw down a really fun set. Christie hooked up guestlist for me and Chav and Petrie which was sweet so Thanks again!  Aside from that….i dont really do much except for count down the day until i can wax my skis. I kinda wanna go to some video premiers this year seeing as i didnt go to any last year. Im thinkin Poor Boyz, Level 1, TGR and perhaps Warren Miller. Well aside from that, i met all our neigbors in our building who are super cool. And we’ve been tearin up the new polo house with live DJ’s and sweet parties. That is all for now.

End of Summer

Its been a while since i remembered i had a blog, cuz i’ve been busy……….not..beating off? Anyways here’s the scoop on the rest of my summer and what i’ve been up to in the past few minutes.

Last few minutes:

–scratched my foot cuz it was itchy and you know how i feel about being itchy (I hate being itchy more than teammates)

–wrote a blog post for Collective Motions

–Listened to the song “Clap” by Wolfgang Gartner

Rest of summer:

–Helped my friends move in to all their sweet new houses, such as the Rape Den and the New Polo House. I didn’t actually move shit into the polo house but i did didnt throw empty beer cans all over the living room the first night they moved in so i guess i did didnt techinally move something inside the house.

– I started working at Pearl Izumi in Louisville. Its not the most glamorous job in the world, i think being the mouse at chuckie cheese would be worse cuz little kids would kick you in the shins and you cant do it back, but it pays pretty good and i don’t have to work fridays for weekends so its do-able.

–Met with some investors for ::Collective Motions:: that want to drop up some cash for new equipment and to get our project off the floor. We recently incorporated Collective Motions LLC. so i have my own company now yay!

–Shows: Hit quite a few good shows the end of summer. Aside form tuesdays at Abo’s on the Hill with ::Collective Motions::, if you haven’t come yet im gonna keep sending the fuckin facebook things to you every week until you do and if you leave our  group i will hunt you down.

–Summer Began with Benny Beanssi’s surprise show after Global Dance at Redrocks, i can honestly say i didn’t recognize one song the guy played all night but his set was soo legit!

–I saw Bassnectar throw the fuck down at Boulder Theater in a latenight show that went until 4am. Pretty baller kinda diggin D&B now.

–Hit Bloody Beetroots & Simian Mobile Disco at the Ogden.Despite what Chav said after Chavtime in Chavtown Chavy Chav Chav, Simain Mobile Disco was better than the Beetroots, granted i saw the beetroots b4 so thats why. ANyone that plays in spiderman masks is badass. The place really needs a new sound system cuz my ears were ringing for 2 days after and i hate that almost as much as the above mentioned itchy thing.

–After that i hit DJ Dan at Beta, by far some of the heaviest tracks i’ve heard. Chav and Chan had to go outside during the set because their sally’s and Chan wet his pants from the bass.

–To top it all off Savoy and Pretty lights on Farrand for the welcome week show. I know what your thinking, no i dont go to CU anymore so they were welcoming me to school but i have an ID and got in anyways so fuck you. Kids ketp crowdsurfing atht eh show. Only stupid douchy kids from Boulder would not get the fact that you don’t crowdsurf at an electronica show for the following reasons. 1. Your ruining my fuckin dance party when you land on my head. 2. Everyone is rolling face and has neither the time, energy for the attention span to hold you up. 3. I will take your shoe and throw it. Dumbasses aside, the show was amazing. Savoy brought it hard, and I had a pretty sweet dance party during pretty lights.

–I have to say it feels kinda weird being in boulder and not going to school anymore. Everyone was soo excited/nervous/stressed about school starting and all i had to look forward to was work. Felt kinda unattached i guess you could say, but i felt better about it when I had all my friends over b4 and after pretty lights. Really nice to see everyone and it reminded me why i decided to stay in boulder instead of move home.

– Now in my normal fashion to distract you from my last point, prety much so you dont think im a pussy and chicks will think im cool, here’s my words of nonsense for you all to enjoy.

– Theres a robot on tv brushing its robot hair sayin “im a pretty girl, im a pretty girl……” He’s a boy that silly robot.

– I like this video of the Pedobear from Entensity.net http://poststuff4.entensity.net/082109/flash.php?media=pb.flv

– And now a joke: What do you get when you cross an owl and ang a bungee cord????? My Ass.

Alrightcya!

Collective Motions

Sup jerks. So recently i started working with a few friends of mine, Taylor Raffensperger “MDT”  & Robert Hewitt “Treaphort” who have formed the DJ group Collective Motions. As i havent found a fucking job yet i voluntered to help them get their myspace and online pages up and running and help them get the word out about their tunes. They spin quite a cool mix of tunes spanning from electro to house to minimal and whatever else happens to come to the decks at the time. Last weekend they road tripped it up to Montana to headline at a mountain rave. From the looks of the pictures it was a prety badass setup and they said there was about 500 people that showed up! They currently have a residency at Abo’s Pizza on the Hill in Boulder every tuesday night so before you go pretend to like 80’s music at the walrus or the Foundry, does anyone actually go there by the way, come hang out at Abo’s with me cuz im awesome and really good looking. Oh yea and the tunes. They start around 8…ish and play until around 11. Heres the links to thier pages so check them out, we’ll have some mixes up soon and maybe a podcast once i figure out how the hell to do that.

www.mypsace.com/collectivemotions

www.twitter.com/collectivmotion

Kinda happy i have something to do finally and put my marekting degree to work. Come out and support them and hopefully it works out for them, and me too haha. I told them im in as long as when they play at beta i get to hang out in the DJ booth and get on all the gogo dancers. Win Win situation i think. You can think what you want, i dont care, loser.

Cheers,

Brian

EDC Los Angeles

Shortly after recovering from the awesomeness that was EDC Colorado, i traveled home to L.A. for The Electric Daisy Carnival. My friends Christian and Chav drove out from Colorado to attend as well. The festival took place in and around the L.A. Colliseum and according to the MC during the set break before Benny Benassi, it was the largest electronic dance music festival in North America in 2009 with over 120,000 people in attendance throughout the weekend. If you’ve never been to a music festival, rave, dance party with 80,000 other people you should do it…and you have no friends. Anyways lets begin.

Friday we got down to the colliseum around 7ish and picked up our tickets at will-call which i proceeded to leave in an andy gump outside. Luckily the girl that went in after gave it back to me. Must have been good karma from saving that box of kittens from that dreaded chopping machine. Once we got inside we walked into the main stage, which was the entire floor of the colliseum and watched Fedde Le Grand. Kinetic field was rather intimidating with the banners and stage standing about 50-60 feet tall with a tiny little booth int he middle. I hadnt heard much of Fedde Le Grand but what we stayed for of his set was pretty sweet. We headed over to the electro/house stage where Fakeblood was playing in a few hours.  When we got there Computer Club went on. He spun a really good set lots of good house, definatley pissed we missed him at EDC in Colorado. After his set Nick Catchdubs spun which wa also really good. Unfortunatley havent been able to find any of his stuff online or anywhere so if you know where to look help me out. After recieving several light shows and meeting a waay cool dude that’s been to Ibiza and Ultra in Miami. He gave me a bracelet thingy becasue i didnt have any or know why people had them but now i do so im officially cooler than at least 4 other people. Fakeblood’s set was………soooo siiick. He played everything i wanted to hear from him and a bunch of cool stuff that i hadnt heard before that totally blew me away. After 3 hours of nonstop house and electro we decided to go see pretty lights for something “a little more mellow” while sitting on the grass while my friends had a cig we met a random black guy that ended up chillin with us most of the night. He had a silver pimp chain he kept showing to everyone.  Anyways we walked over to pretty lights and holy shit that guy is baller. Give him a few months and he’s gonna blow up onto the scene. Like i literally had no idea they were gonna be that badass. For me they definatley were the best act of the night. After Pretty Lights finished up we walked over to see Shiny Toy Guns. Upon arival and seeing how crowded it was we decided we didnt really wanna see them that bad, sorry tommy  i know their one of the 3 musical acts you’ve ever heard of but……..i said sorry bout it. We headed back over to the main stage to catch ATB and eventually Paul Oakenfold. While passing by one of the gates security began yelling and 3 security people tackeled a belligerant fully naked man to the ground right in front of us. Like seriously ass naked screaming and yelling about how he doesnt have to wear clothes. It was kinda sad to me becasue you know that dude, aside from causing a scene completley naked in front of hundreds of people, was gonna wake up from his acid trip in a police station wondering what the hell happened. As soon as i realized what was going on we left, not really the kind of vibes that i wanted to be around.  We walked into the collisuem for the first time since dark and damn what a site to be seen. 20,000 people glowsticks waving jumping and dancing to some of the best electronic music talent in the world. Defiantley a site i will never forget. ATB’s set was pretty sick especially the Nirvana song he dropped. I never thought Smells like Teen Spirit could sound like that. It was exactly like a the beginning of XXX when they go to the crazy rave thingy with Rammstein. The crowd wanted that song soo bad and literally the place went apeshit when it finally dropped. Highlight of the weekend for me. then to finish off the night we heard a great set by Paul Oakenfold. I really need to get to Vegas and hear him spin at the palms cuz damn. While walking to the car thinking about the days events it really hit me that it was only Day 1.

After a wonderful afternoon, we didnt get up until like 1 becasue we got home at like 3:30, which consisted of going to islands, sitting in rafts in my pool and drinking beer we hopped back in the car and crusied down for Day 2 of EDC. I was super excited for saturday becasue it was all the heavy hitters. Since i’ll probably just keep talking about stuff heres a breakdown of the acts we saw: Kaskade, Benny Benassi, Le Castle Vania, Simian Mobile disco, Sander Van Doorn, David Guetta and Paul Van Dyk. Be jealous bitches. After again leaving something in a port-o-potty, this time my water bottle, we walked into the main stage just as Kaskade began his set. I literally stepped foot onto the main stage floor just as Kaskade dropped Move for Me. God damn that song is cool. The rest of the set was actually really awesome not at all what i expected from him. Earlier in the year i had a ticket to go see him at Beta, but i ended up bailing to go to Formal with Gigi. Defiantley the wiser of the two options, perhaps that can have its own post some day, but yea he would have rocked my shit at Beta. From here on out the details as to chronological order of sets is non-existant and seeing as i cant tell time unless its a digital clock, if anyone can tell me what the hell the little hand means i would be greatly appreciated. I think Benny Benassi was next. They told us they were having technical difficulties and it would be a 25 delay. This 25 minute delay ended up being 40 minutes. Chav and Chan left to go see Le Castle Vania, i really watned to see Benny because i hadnt before so i stayed there. Fortunatley there was a nice group of girls behind me that decided to be my friend and sit with me. Once Chav and Christian got back we decided to walk down to the floor for David Guettas set. Biggest let down of the evening alert: they closed off the main stage floor becasue there was too many people so we couldnt get down and had to sit in the stands beasue i was in no position to be cimbing fences like the other delinquents. So we watched Guetta’s set from the stands. Hands down the best set of the night and of the weekend. I had seen him at Beta last year and the set was sick as fuck. He played a bunch of his Fuck Me Im Famous stuff and a few of his bangers off Pop Life so i was quite content. defiantley brought back good memories from the Beta show, Guetta was my first electronica show/night at Beta so he has a special place. After that set i think we walked over to see Simian Moblie Disco who was pretty sweet. Couldnt get to close to the stage so we started to walk back to catch Paul Van Dyk when we were intrigued by some loud techno music we did not before notice. Sander Van Doorn. Definatley some of the best beats of the weekend, just genuinely cool music, wish we could have caught more of his set. I think he came to Beat a few weeks ago and i was all like “hey this guy has a strange foreign name clearly he’s a sweet DJ” and then i was like “well since nobodys’ heard of him and i have no friends i probably wont go.” Fuckin my bad. To round out the evening we went back to the main stage high up in the stands and watched 80,000 people dance their asses off to some sweet Trance music. Sitting up in the stands really made me realize how awesome a place we were at and how lucky we were to witness something this cool. Paul’s speech before his set, he gave the same one at EDC CO, was about how all these people come together as one united in dance music. As cheesy as it sounds its really true. As strange as everyone dresses at raves and as bad of a reputation that scene has for drugs and such, when it really comes down to it its all about people enjoying music. I think i told Chava nd Christian this as some point over the weekend but Festivals like EDC are the Woodstock of our generation and i am soo lucky i got to take part in an experience like that.

-I’ll try to get some pics up on the blog soon but until then Trav put a bunch of them up on his FB so go check them out. And again if you make fun of my shirt, i’ll punch you in the tummy.

Summer

Wow its been a while since i wrote my last post. Like 3 weeks which is a pretty long time seeing as i can only count to 5. Anyways hope your ready for some obnoxious social life commentary cuz here we go!

- Upon finishing my A2b class i have begun the inevitable search for a big people job. My current job is watching the Tour De France, which i dont think counts as a job but fuck you i say it is. I went home for a few weeks to go to EDC, we’ll get waay to into that in another post, and my dad intoduced me to the people he knows at ad agencies in L.A. I got to go to Rubin Poaster & Associates in Santa Monica and take a tour. I met the head strategic planner Todd Gray, who was a really cool guy to talk with and gave me a whole bunch of books on advertising and planning to read as soon as i learn how. Then i had lunch with Pat Adams from Secret Weapon Marketing, His shop handles the Jack in the Box account and So-Cal Honda Dealers, hence why i got the meeting, and His partner at the agency is the voice of Jack which is really cool. Anyways since then i’ve been emailing random agancies and seeing who i can meet and talk to so i dont have to actually put effort into my blog in order to have a job later in life.

-4th of July was spen at the rez. It was crappy and raining kinda most of the day except for the hour and a half when i got sunburnt as hell becasue i refused to leave my raft and beers. Now my arms are peeling and its annoying. I had to ride my bike home from the rez in the pouring rain and it hurt bad.

-Went home for a few weeks to jacakss around and luckily little brother was in L.A.  on Tour with his group so i got to kick it with them all week. For those that dont know my bro plays upright bass, mandolin, melodica, banjo and probably some other stuff with an Artist and friend of mine Pat Hull. I was lucky enough to catch their show in L.A. at Cafe Cordiale which was fun until Carrie came and kept stealing my drinks I also went to their show at the mercury lounge in Santa Barbara and got to hang out with Jess, Akers and Peter who i hadnt seen in a while so that was cool too.

-Got to go down to San Diego to visit Joel when i was home as well. We went wakeboarding in Mission bay and layed around on the beach and ate lobster tacos most of the time, no big deal all you suckers in boulder that hid in your room and cried becasue you have no friends. Met Joel’s gf Jamie who was really cool and all of Joels other friends who were really fun.  I took the train down and while i was on the train i made up a game. It was called where would i sleep if i was a hobo. I noticed many hobo houses along the tracks but there was soo much bettter real estate that those silly people were passing up. Like this one place right by the L.A. “River” it was covered waterfront property and nobody was sleeping there!

-And as of nowthe job search isnt going great. I really just want something in boulder to keep me busy right now. Like retail, cooking, pretty much anything so im not sitting at home watching the tour de france all day, Wait wtf’s wrong with that?

UPDATE: I got an email back from Integer Marketing in Denver about a job i applied for on their website. I sent back a few questions they wanted me to answer so im hoping to hear from them soon. They’re a really cool shop, do alot of the Coors and Keystone ads and some other pretty big clients so yay!

EDC Colorado 2009

This summer I was lucky enough to attend EDC, the electric daisy carnival, in both Colorado and California. Both festivals, raves, call them what you will you jerks, were tons of fun so they both get heir own post so you have to read more haha. So let’s start with Colorado.

The festival was at the Arapahoe fairgournds in Auroroa colorado. It was pretty much in the middle of fuckin nowhere, like there were inexplicable ammounts of dead prarie dogs on the side of the road the whole drive out there. Prarie dogs must be dumb cuz they kept dying all over the road. Anyways my friends Jessika and Becca came out from Santa Barbara for the festival which was really fun cuz nobody visits me cuz i have no friends. “flights are too expensive” they always say but i know they really just dont wanna hang out with me cuz my fly’s usually down. Anyways Chav came too and it was chavtime pretty much all night. When we first got there we wandered around the festival grounds. The Kinetic Field main stage was in a giant warehouse building in the middle with the smaller stages in tents outside along with the giant fair rides. Went to one of the outside tents cuz me and Chav heard a Dirty South song we liked and stayed there for a while. When we were inside a man in a bear suit appeared and started dancing  with us. Seriously look at the picture at the bottom and if you make fun of my clothes i’ll smother you in your sleep. Then we went back inside the main stage and sat around on the floor for a while and people watched. Chav just went and had Chavtime and danced by himself for like half an hour. We caught the end of Michael Meyers set. Good DJ played some good tunes. Dragon spun for a few minutes while Paul Van Dyke set up. Paul Van Dyk was really baller. I cant really listen to trance unless its live becasue you get bored but PVD brought it big time. Chav and Jess and Becca literally had to drag me away from the stage to go outside and see, what turned out to be the best set of the night, Thr Crystal Method. Holy shit they were amazing. For starters they had the best light setup of any of the stages and they played some of the coolest shit ive heard in a long time. I would reccomend seeing them to anyone unless you dont like music or are deaf, then do whatever you want idc. After their set ended we went back to the main stage to see Infected Mushroom. I had never seen them before and was super excited and they did not dissapoint. They’re pretty much a super gnarly rock band with a singer and DJ that mixes with them. Some people find them overwhelming. Jess and Becca had to go stand in the back becasue it was too intense and me and Chav eventaully had to go stand in the back becasuse it was 9,000 degrees and there was a teammate standing next to me. Mostly the second reason. Infected finished up around 3:30am and we drove back to  Boulder by all the dead prarie dogs. I think we stayed up watching sister act until like 6:30 and then PTFO. We were awakened by my friends drunkenly calling me at 1:00 to go to the cottage and hang out. After EDC Colorado, going to LA for EDC seemed pretty much like a “no brianer”

Advertising A2b

So upon graduation and all the shennanigans that followed, i completed the Advertising A2b certifiacte program through the CU School of Journalism and Mass communication and damn was it worth the time, money and effort. A little background, A2b is a month long intensive advertising immersion program for non ad majors. Its taught by CU’s Ad fauclty who are some of the best around and they bring in top notch talent from all around the industry to speak as well as a a final project in which you design a full campaign for an actual client in 3 days! Alot to take in but it feel for me it was extrmely beneficial and worth having no life outside of class for 3 weeks.

We began class the first week learning about account planning and mamangement. Seeing as strategic planning is what i want to get into this part was my favorite. We had some really great speakers on social media and from planners from DDB and a few small shops in the Denver area. We also had Brad Karsh come talk to us who was director of talent acquisition at LEo Burnett for 10 years talk to us about resumes and how to get a job, which i had to say was invaluable information.

The second week we worked on creative and had people come talk to us from Crispin, Integer and the Martin group. Really intersting peole who are killing it in their field right now. We also took a trip up to Crispin to get a tour of the shop and a presentation on the Domnioes online campaign. That shop is absoutley crazy from the work they put out to the interior design of the shop which looks like a giant Ikea.

The final week we had to design an entire campaign from start to finish, planning to creative, for the CU environmental center to promote students looking for rental houseing to ask for energy costs to create a demand for more energy efficient housing in boulder. Our campaign centerd around the idea of the power struggle between landlords and renters that exists. Our insight was that students see landlords as the enemy and feel powerless. Our campaign was awarded best strategy, which is cool seeing as i want to go into strategic planning (a sign? i think so) and we pitched the campaign to our client on the final day.

This program was really amazing and i feel the people we got to speak with and the knowledge i gained will 100% benefit me in my career later in life. So anyone considering taking A2b or advertising as a job, DO IT. You will not regret it.

Heres the program website for those who might be intereted: http://adsa2b.colorado.edu/

Cheers!

College classes

So over my 4 years of college I’ve taken notice to the people in class with me as I will soon have to interact with them I. The real world and frankly it Scares me and makes me quote excited at the same time. It scares me because most of these kids parents are lucky these kids can eat with a spoon. Seriously. But at the same time I can eat with a spoon and a knife so that gives me a leg up suckas! Anyways my point is that I had noticed the same types of people in many of my classes so I figured I’d make a list and judge all of them cuz it amuses me to do so and it’s my blog. So without further jackassey here they are:

1. Old guy: this man I clerly not an undergradute despite the fact that he’s usually in a 1000 level course. He creeps in a few minutes before class and usually sits on the front row right near re professors podium so he can exchange pervy smiles with the professor (skipper) and make obnoxious observations which he poses at first as a question which pisses me off cuz
2. Sleeping kid: this kid knocks out after the first powerpoint slide and thinks nobody notices his freakin mouth breathig. Upon spastically waking up to the notice of all class members and the professor they act like nothings wrong, but oooh there is something wrong, your brain cells sir, they seem to be on permanent sabbatical.
3. Hat guy: this guy, maybe in a fraternity has this budge ass CU hat on every class, everyday an it looks like someone threw it in the creek then their ugly little dog sucked on it in the back yard for like 9 hours. I would be terrife to put that thing near my head, mostly because I’m to pretty, but I can’t believe it doesn’t smell or jump off his head and walk away under it’s own will.
4. Going out at 1:30 girl: dis ain’t no club guurl why you wearn dem heels and dress thingy to your 1:00 lecture. It’s a lecture ain’t nobody gonna be askin fo yo digitz durin physics lab hoe. beta doesn’t open until 9, go home and shame yourself.
5. Piercing guy: this kid is not the freak on tv that had horns implanted in his head or anything, but re 3-4 piercing hedoes have are possibly the most prime example of douchebaggery (yea I made that word up, what!) onthe planet. These piercing include in no particular order: eyebrow, septum, double lip rings, and any piercing of the ear not on the lobe. Nose piercings are fine cuz I had one once so I cat hate otherwise I’d be a hipocrite terrorizer.
6. Obnoxious longboard man: arrived late to class and decides to sit in the front rows not cuz it’s the only seats left but because they need attention, most specifially drawn to the huge longboard that’s as tall as they are which they dragged into the class sideways through the door an tripped overtwice. No joke some guy made his board out of an old waterski, cuz that’s necessary. Just go buy a normal one because your giant skateboard isn’t making up for your other shortcumings. (see what I did there)
7. Test question girl: this could quite possibly be the person I hate he most so prepare yourselves for anoher obnoxious rant. Interction shally p cuts with this girl on a Friday afternoon in your last class while reviewing for Mondays test which she knew about 5 days ago when he rest of us were being normal. Upon he professor conclusion of class when asked does anyone have any questions about the test, aka stuff on the test this bitch asks the same question that has made everyone in her class since middle school want to slap her in public. “how many questions are on the test?” WTF you moron! Do you really think the number if questions on re exam will in amy possible way influence how you study for or take the exam. NO! Your not gonna be all like oOoh it’s 75 quetions this changes everything now I have to eat the fuckin textbook so I can absorb every piece of information in it. Seriously your wasting my life and your supid question which your furiously writing down the answer too in the span of 5 lines even tough it’s usually a double digit number has cost me precious minutes I could have spent judging/jivin someone else in the class. Aside from by being able I count I’d think this girl further frustates me because she’s usually hot which makes me reconsider the trophy wife Im marrying later in life. Ahh who am I kidding dumb chicks are fine if their pretty.
8. Question kid: the kid j. Class who usually. Elbegins any statement winn have a question, wait actually I have two questions. #1 nobody cares how many quwstio a you have #2 this information will not after the answer you decide so again stop wasting everyones life. #3 you have already assured everyone that your question will be stupid and I have aleady lost interest.
9. Semester abroad girl: we don’t care that you studied abroad or went on a boat or anything else hat was cool that I didn’t get to do so evey answer or comment made doesn’t have to include refrences to places I can spell.
10. Gold star: this kid in class had the most gold stars since elementary school and probably did the readings from he textbook nobody in the class even knew existed. They’ll probably quote lines an shot directly from the book without it in front of them Whig means not I my did hey read they got more gold stars than you by taking note too. Jerks.

Most if these people if had in class several times and generally makes me incremenatlly more pissed off each semester. I don’t think I was every one of these people in collge. Mate gold star kid when I was in middle school and sucked, but not now. If you think of any other obnoxious ass people that could be added leave it it the comments ad I’ll glady DELETE it! Ooooo you just got fooled son.

Enjoy!